- how a smile says everything you need to know about someone,
and how she feels for you - running till im out of breath,
so i can feel alive - cycling really fast and do the "meg-ryan",
to convince myself that im flying - walking on wet grass in the morning,
because they really are the best shoes - waking up to a text from a girl who woke up from her nightmare,
because then i'd know how much she needs me - how a stranger returns your smile,
because it makes you think that the world isnt so bad - how my first impression on people are always wrong,
because im a pessimist - knowing something new about someone,
because there's always something more - getting caught in the rain,
and feel free from everything - waking up to a rainy morning,
knowing i can always run outside and play - lying down listening to songs,
to ignore the world for a moment - acting like a kid,
to get the best out of life - switching the radio station,
just to find my favourite songs - feeling the wind rushing thru me,
it feels like nothing can stop me - dreaming the impossible,
because sometimes, they do happen - writing nonsense,
because there's nothing much to say - =) 's
because they mean a lot to me
i like...
of jebat and heroism
as malaysians, im sure each of us have our fair share of folklore, coming from different backgrounds, be it culturally or religiously. the story of hang tuah 5 sahabat is rather common, even more so for the malays.
the most popular of all the stories about them would be the battle between hang tuah and hang jebat i can't be bothered to recall the exact version, but so i'll just take from wikipedia.
Hang Jebat was the closest companion of the legendary Malay hero Hang Tuah. He is well known for his vengeful rebellion against the Malacca Sultan whom he served. After Hang Tuah was sentenced to death, Hang Jebat was conferred by the Sultan of Malacca with the Taming Sari, a sacred kris formerly used by Hang Tuah. Believing that Hang Tuah was unjustly murdered by the Sultan he served, Hang Jebat turned against the Sultan to avenge his friend's death. No one knew, however, except the Bendahara who went against the Sultans orders and hid Hang Tuah in a remote region of Malacca that he was still alive.
With the kris in his possession, Hang Jebat became invincible and there was not one person in the entire Malacca Empire who was capable of killing him. Hang Jebat's revenge had forced the Sultan of Malacca to abandon his palace. Jebat seduced the women of the palace and spent his days eating, drinking and sporting with them. All the warriors sent by the Sultan to challenge him were killed. Even his friend Hang Kasturi was driven out when Hang Jebat realized that the other man hadn't come to join him in merrymaking.
After learning from the Bendahara that Hang Tuah was still alive, The Sultan had him recall Hang Tuah and gave Hang Tuah full amnesty. The Sultan then ordered Hang Tuah to kill Hang Jebat. Being unquestioningly loyal to the Sultan, Hang Tuah obeyed the Sultan's bidding and went on to challenge Hang Jebat. After fighting in a battle that lasted for seven days, Hang Tuah eventually managed to reclaim the Taming Sari by tricking Hang Jebat. Although stabbed by Tuah, Hang Jebat bandaged his wounds and ran amok in the city square for three days, killing thousands of people before retreating to Tuah's house and dying in his friend's arms.
Hang Jebat's famous quote was "Raja adil raja disembah, raja zalim raja disanggah" which literally means "A fair king is a king to obey, a cruel king is a king to fight against".
what i fail to comprehend is that, why is hang tuah seen as a hero. he's nothing more than a soldier with no stand, no principle, no value....a perfect soldier, but never a hero. he didn't fight for himself when he was accused wrongly, he came back to serve the man who sentenced him to death for no reason, he blindly followed the sultan's order, and he killed his true friend, hang jebat when he tried to avenge him.
hang jebat did murder those who are innocent, but what the sultan did was no better. at least jebat stood up for his friend, even at the cost of being labelled a traitor. jebat was a true hero, not a perfect one, but a hero nonetheless. tuah in contrast, was just another killing machine.
loyalty is where it is due. no point being loyal to anyone or anything if it contradicts with your values. it applies to a friend, lover, nation, kings or whatever tax-eating-creatures they are referred as, and even religion. of the many reasons i object the syariah law, or any other law, be it tradition or religion is because my values comes first. i would not simply be told what to do, albeit from a higher order, a higher being, a higher whatever, make me. i do not see why apostasy is prohibited, isnt it a right to choose one's faith....and to choose it again?
i don't know what others might think of my perception of the jebat and tuah legend.....but i do know what i will tell my kids in the years to come.....and i bet you know who'll be the hero
cycled today. had to. missed the feeling when the wind rushes towards your face. if you cycle fast enough and close your eyes, it feels like flying. maybe i'll end up with a bike afterall when im an MO.
lesson 2
when life pulls a joke on you, all you can do is laugh
because what's the point in making others worried, right?
hey, i'll stop asking k?
lesson learnt
i used to believe that i can always do something, change something i didn't like, and do better if i just put in more hours and effort into it. i used to believe that impossible is nothing. i refused to give up, and to follow the course fate has set me for. i ignored what everyone said, i thought, i can always do something, regardless how little the effects would be, i wanted to make a difference. so much for my raison detre.
it doesn't matter if it was about scoring higher for add math, or running a bit further than usual, or jumping an inch higher than the day before. i always had this mindset, that i could do something about everything. destiny and fate meant nothing to me. i wouldn't even let the god factor interfere. i make my luck....no matter what happens, if it's me thats rolling the dice, then nothing else matters.
lately i realised something. i came to accept that there are certain things that i can never change afterall. i lost my grandad recently, and i was in college. we're not close, but i wanted to do something for him....to be there. i couldn't. it just hit me.....im just a tiny chess piece in this mad world. there's just so much i can do.....the rest is up to the big guy. im still an agnostic by virtue. big guy isnt an omnipotent being controlling the universe, he's just randomness, coincidence, the sum of cause and effect of every single action taken by everyone.
perhaps.....the truth is, life is indeed larger than ourselves. this time, i have to accept it. ngeh
because my hands would be in my pockets this time...
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