tagged

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 10 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. continue this game by sending it toother people.

1. do you have secrets?
who doesnt?

2. if you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
i dont want it to come true, its way too impossible to have a happy ending with it.

3.What are the things that can cheer you up when things go wrong?
friends, songs, ps, running around, jumping, punching objects....or people

4.What would you do with a billion dollars?
anything i want with it.........its my money

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
who's got a say in that? im no fortune teller

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
neither and both

7.If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?
i'd wish for a billion dollars, to be remembered and to leave no physical trace of my existence when im gone......im weird, but theres a reason for it, theres a reason for anything.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
1st, bang my head agaisnt the wall, then wish that person the best of luck in life.

9.. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
winning stuff, winning some games, the gang and families........being free from anything

10. What takes you down the fastest?
myself, especially when i think way too much.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
that would be 27, i believe i'll have my car, a small house, most likely remain single and grow sideways.

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
everyone i know, i do mean everyone.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
whichever that makes feel better.

15. Would you give all in a relationship?
what kind of a relationship we're talking about? hey, dont blame me, the question wasnt specific, so thats my response.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
neither, its not fair for anyone.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
sure, after that someone has pay for it.

18.Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
whichever that suits me better.....how the hell am i suppose to know

19. What's the hardest thing for you?
knowing myself.

20. would you like to become someone else?
.........................

i'll tag 10 people for sure, that would be the other me's from different times, and see whether the other 10 ben's would still reply in the same way no matter how time has change. hey, i still play by the rules.....rite son, who happen to tagged me? hey, im only doing this cos you finally post smtg new.

waking up

i dont remember the last time i dream, but im sure i'd need to flip the calendar pages. dreams are never just dreams, they always mean something.....or that's what i used to believe. dreams are the projection of your subconscious thoughts that has been buried deep inside your head, or things that you never have realised before. they can be the sweetest lost memories or nightmares you thought you've got over with, they can be your deepest desire that you have never known....or it's just your head thinking too much with the REM tagging along in your sleep.

this morning, i woke up from the most cruel dream. it wasnt a nightmare. i believe that it was my personal goal, something that i wanted at that moment. the dream wasnt about me losing something important, instead, it showed me the most wonderful possibilties i can ever think of, the most beautiful thing that can happen to me. i bet i had the biggest smile in my life in my sleep. then, i woke up. thats when reality came down to my consciousness.....where it just crushed everything. the dream was nothing wrong, except that it gave me hope, the slightest faith in such event that it would be real one day, and it would be mine. to be given hope at one moment, and then have it snatched away and smashed to pieces before you can make sense out of it, makes me wonder.......so should i really stop dreaming?

afterall, dreams are nothing but a blanket covering you from the blinding light of reality....you can only hide there for a moment.....the longer you stay inside, the more your eyes are going to hurt when you come out. for a moment, i really thought that it was gonna real.....everything became clear, what i wanted to do, what i should do......everything fits perfectly. that last for a minute or so.......then it just vanished into thin air. now, im left with despair and nothing more. kinda hope i never dreamt in the first place now. damn!


cats got 9 lives, i got 2 now

i think this is one of the rare moments in life where i actually balanced all my accounts questions in test, so that was a huge relieved. bio killed me yesterday.

avoiding making a report about trials, i got a question thats been in my head for what it seemed like a long time, a very long time, when in fact, it was just days ago. what would you do if you can be another person entirely in the eyes of different people......its not acting like a hypocrite, but just trying to be another person for the fun of it, and discovering which type of personality better suits you. this is, what i see it as, the solution for the road not taken....except this is just about playing different roles at certain times. this is how you can take both roads, by becoming two separate person at the same time......like jekyll and hyde, except you are not some mad and sick scientist who enjoys beating the shit out of innocent people when you become the other person.

it does sound very tempting, because this is how you can see how life goes in two different ways. and i felt that i've been doing it lately. im being another person at certain specific times, when im with certain specific people, because i want to know how does it feel like to be a "new me". it does sound like you are having another life.......but this is.........plain awesome. how often can one person enjoy two separate lives at the same time.

this is not about a serial killer who acts normal in the day, and a murderer at night. this is not bruce wayne being batman. ok, maybe its cool to be batman....imagine the toys you got. anyway, this is how you can get two life experiences without two lifetimes.

and im doing it unconsciously nowadays.......to the extent i ask myself sometimes, WHAT AM I DOING? i know this not what the my normal-self would do, but i just did that out of free will. this epiphany is confusing...because i think im trying to not just be a different person now, but the exact opposite of me now.....and i seriously dont know what i want to be. is it that 95% introvert or the outspoken smartass? im sorry if i act this way to anyone, i truly am, because then, i felt like i just lied about everything, about myself.

sketching myself isnt so easy now, is it?

cant think of a title now....so its random

soft......thats new. i didnt expect that coming....not ever, especially not from him....but if thats the way to go, then let it be. havent been blogging for some time, cos theres nothing much going on....except of one little conpsiracy i suspect my mom is pulling.

of everything in this wolrd, she bought a psp....now, im not showing off,......ok, just a little. but she got it exactly a week before my trial starts, thats tomorow. i'd comprehend better if she got me stationaries, or books, maybe even a pillow, but a psp....whoooa, i still need time to digest that. not only the psp, she bought me a new dualshock for the ps2....the original one from japan. money fall from the sky more often than this....this is too much. being someone who thinks too much, i suspect that this is like a hostage situation. you dont study, the controller goes to your cousin, you screw your trials, PRAAKK, psp broken in half. it just might be...reverse psychology, except with psp and dualshock.

which is why i've been with books since then. here's a fact, i finished reading chemistry in one day, and form 5 sejarah in the another. damn, the last two chapters of sej is a real pain in the backside. and my add math sucks. 41 over 80, i felt like jumping off the building. damn, im dead. the fact that my agama paper 1 is on the same day as sej paper 2 has been bugging me. who on earth arranged that stupid schedule. the next day all 3 chemistry papers. tomorow? only one freakin paper, sej 1.....12.30-1.30....dont ask.

to go off at a tangent, i realised that sometimes, i leave words behind while writing. its not grammatical error....when i write, i think in my head....and i do think faster than i can write....so in order to keep the idea coming nonstop, i unconsciously leave words behind.....like the word "be", or "will"......its funny that my english teacher didnt see that. it's funny i do that. its like i forgot to write the word down, and assume i've already written it. gotta change this habit quickly, english paper is on tuesday, what used to be pj day.

another thing, i found another song from sara bareilles, and i really love this one...notice the word love and not like. yes, im obsessed with it....its bittersweet. i notice that her album doesnt have bittersweet and tread water, and i wonder....why on earth is it not there. and her love song which has been repeated for months on the radio is killing me....enough of the same song over and over again.....go change it.

and congrats cha.....just dont hang around library again.....its not the best place in the world.