i think this is one of the rare moments in life where i actually balanced all my accounts questions in test, so that was a huge relieved. bio killed me yesterday.
avoiding making a report about trials, i got a question thats been in my head for what it seemed like a long time, a very long time, when in fact, it was just days ago. what would you do if you can be another person entirely in the eyes of different people......its not acting like a hypocrite, but just trying to be another person for the fun of it, and discovering which type of personality better suits you. this is, what i see it as, the solution for the road not taken....except this is just about playing different roles at certain times. this is how you can take both roads, by becoming two separate person at the same time......like jekyll and hyde, except you are not some mad and sick scientist who enjoys beating the shit out of innocent people when you become the other person.
it does sound very tempting, because this is how you can see how life goes in two different ways. and i felt that i've been doing it lately. im being another person at certain specific times, when im with certain specific people, because i want to know how does it feel like to be a "new me". it does sound like you are having another life.......but this is.........plain awesome. how often can one person enjoy two separate lives at the same time.
this is not about a serial killer who acts normal in the day, and a murderer at night. this is not bruce wayne being batman. ok, maybe its cool to be batman....imagine the toys you got. anyway, this is how you can get two life experiences without two lifetimes.
and im doing it unconsciously nowadays.......to the extent i ask myself sometimes, WHAT AM I DOING? i know this not what the my normal-self would do, but i just did that out of free will. this epiphany is confusing...because i think im trying to not just be a different person now, but the exact opposite of me now.....and i seriously dont know what i want to be. is it that 95% introvert or the outspoken smartass? im sorry if i act this way to anyone, i truly am, because then, i felt like i just lied about everything, about myself.
sketching myself isnt so easy now, is it?
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