waking up

i dont remember the last time i dream, but im sure i'd need to flip the calendar pages. dreams are never just dreams, they always mean something.....or that's what i used to believe. dreams are the projection of your subconscious thoughts that has been buried deep inside your head, or things that you never have realised before. they can be the sweetest lost memories or nightmares you thought you've got over with, they can be your deepest desire that you have never known....or it's just your head thinking too much with the REM tagging along in your sleep.

this morning, i woke up from the most cruel dream. it wasnt a nightmare. i believe that it was my personal goal, something that i wanted at that moment. the dream wasnt about me losing something important, instead, it showed me the most wonderful possibilties i can ever think of, the most beautiful thing that can happen to me. i bet i had the biggest smile in my life in my sleep. then, i woke up. thats when reality came down to my consciousness.....where it just crushed everything. the dream was nothing wrong, except that it gave me hope, the slightest faith in such event that it would be real one day, and it would be mine. to be given hope at one moment, and then have it snatched away and smashed to pieces before you can make sense out of it, makes me wonder.......so should i really stop dreaming?

afterall, dreams are nothing but a blanket covering you from the blinding light of reality....you can only hide there for a moment.....the longer you stay inside, the more your eyes are going to hurt when you come out. for a moment, i really thought that it was gonna real.....everything became clear, what i wanted to do, what i should do......everything fits perfectly. that last for a minute or so.......then it just vanished into thin air. now, im left with despair and nothing more. kinda hope i never dreamt in the first place now. damn!