i miss my routine run, i miss my old friends, i miss being wrong.
i doubt anyone can figure this out. and that's how it should be. unknown, undiscovered, unfathomable, undefined. it has to be, it must be this way.
because im letting it go, everything.....
to do's
- meet up with an old friend before he flies off to cairo
- decide which cpu to bring back to college
- meet up with the gang
- get the math notes photocopied
- register for penang bridge run
- get haircut
- drive around
- buy more stuff at lowyat
- clean the apartment
- get amnesia
50 reasons im up
- one more paper to go, but why must it be chemistry?
- i had the usual walk again, and it was the best so far.
- i need to look for my roomkey, forgot where i put it.
- i tried to remember those ten digits....nope, completely forgotten. that means the sleep-calling ends here, ok?
- i almost give up on everything i've been doing for the past few days
- i need to sleep..or at least start picking up step-by-step chemistry and read it.
- am going to get my pc tomorrow.
- i think im in denial.
- am wondering whether i should text a raya wish to everyone, i do mean, EVERYONE.
- am staring at my cup of coins. there must be 30bucks in there. there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow afterall. yea me, that's where the rainbow ends.
- need to reconsider a new baju raya. not up to it i guess
- am thinking of cost cutting measures.
- am going to play dance dance revolution one day, i've got plans.
- am obsessed with peanut butter.
- tried making a banana-chocolate-filled-toast with the sandwhichmaker. awesome!
- shall never try ice cream with the sandwhichmaker, my holy grail of....well, DIY food.
- need to fix my other watch.
- really need to start looking for the keys.
- trying to finish food supply before raya break.
- i am balding.adasdasddad
- am going crazy over lifehouse. didnt know they're that good.
- im missing someone right now, but.......nevermind.
- am wondering whether i made the right call.
- am looking at 2 sleeping roommates....both very good at hitting snooze and going back to sleep.
- am waiting for it to rain
- am hoping for it to rain at 6.45pm, someday.
- realise that i tend to distract myself from studying by cleaning stuff.
- am going to have cereals for sahur.
- am trying to lose weight.
- will try to sprint up to the top of the hill one day.....without collapsing halfway or die from cardio failure.
- needs to utilize the space in the apartment.
- maybe i should start reading.....
- maybe i should pick the phone up and dial.....wait, i cant.
- want to go makan around after raya.
- want to go the penang hill during this break.
- should start driving around once i get back.
- need to really cut down on phone bill.....wait, done.
- want to play firecrackers this year.
- am waiting for a rainbow.
- i wonder whether this would reach 100 like last time.
- need to do a lot of muet exercises.
- need to find 3 people for my muet speaking test. i need someone who can talk. because i can't.
- shall never think about going downhill with a skateboard.
- nor shall i ever try to bowl there either.
- am wondering why do they have to be so confusing....not questions, but answers.
- will wait for it.
- will keep my words.
- will hold on to yours.
- .............................
- guess what?
could it get any more random
wait, i just remembered, i still have till 5 years left. i'll see if i can live till november first. btw, physics test in one hour....at least i've showered.....and read a bit. ngeh.
im not giving up, im not losing hope.....im just waiting for it.
im not giving up, im not losing hope.....im just waiting for it.
mangkuk...
no matter what happens, always remember about the things that you have
that would be my number and my words.
that would be my number and my words.
breaking the rear view mirror
i might be making the biggest mistake of my life....but i will learn from it. it's time for my amnesia to work, it's time i forget about everything, it's time i stop giving a damn, it's time for a change...
BEN, DON'T LOOK BACK...
BEN, DON'T LOOK BACK...
wish it was sunday
crap, woke up late. need.to.study.
sjkabdkabalsbdakjbaldak.
i hate mondays.
will anyone do? so where does that put me?
sjkabdkabalsbdakjbaldak.
i hate mondays.
will anyone do? so where does that put me?
never quite liked literature but...
im not sure whether i've said it before but i wont bother checking through my old posts. when i feel like writing, then it's best to let my thoughts run wild and my fingers run free.
the reason, why i chose to take up the jpa offer was because i didn't want to end up like my brother. i know that matrix is going to be easier than a levels, and a lot faster too. and i wont be bonded for ten years but...........i didnt want to follow his footsteps.
matrix was a paved road to me....jpa is a tiny path that diverts away into a blindspot. i took a turn, i took up jpa, and i'll try not looking back. im doing it not because of the scholarship, not because of the college, not because of anything else but a poem we learnt back in secondary school.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
because i wanted to be different.
the reason, why i chose to take up the jpa offer was because i didn't want to end up like my brother. i know that matrix is going to be easier than a levels, and a lot faster too. and i wont be bonded for ten years but...........i didnt want to follow his footsteps.
matrix was a paved road to me....jpa is a tiny path that diverts away into a blindspot. i took a turn, i took up jpa, and i'll try not looking back. im doing it not because of the scholarship, not because of the college, not because of anything else but a poem we learnt back in secondary school.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
because i wanted to be different.
i know this is going to sound dumb, but i've thought of an explanation for dreams and why we have them. crapping starts.... get ready.
the mind has the ability to store data, memory, mostly in photographic forms. well, when i say a dog for example, you might picture a specific species instead of seeing the word dog in your head. you construct your imagination using previous memory of a dog and how it may look like. when you imagine something, you are predicting with the help of your memory as the basis. predictions done during consciousness is fairly simple and logical.
for instance, when i say im throwing a pie at a clown's face, you can already imagine the pie being splattered on his face. thats prediction blended with imagination. of course, it's kinda logical because thats how we are trained to think. you wont think that the pie will turn into a nuclear missile and explode at his face. that's just too random......i said random because its improbable, not impossible.
dreams turn the logic switch off. so your prediction is running loose. and lunacy and chaos is added to it. so your dreams are basically exagerrated versions of simple predictions. so it's not impossible to happen, it's just unlikely......to certain degrees.
which means it is also unlikely for me to be trapped in a room, helplessly waiting to be murdered by a complete stranger by means im not too fond of recalling.
the mind has the ability to store data, memory, mostly in photographic forms. well, when i say a dog for example, you might picture a specific species instead of seeing the word dog in your head. you construct your imagination using previous memory of a dog and how it may look like. when you imagine something, you are predicting with the help of your memory as the basis. predictions done during consciousness is fairly simple and logical.
for instance, when i say im throwing a pie at a clown's face, you can already imagine the pie being splattered on his face. thats prediction blended with imagination. of course, it's kinda logical because thats how we are trained to think. you wont think that the pie will turn into a nuclear missile and explode at his face. that's just too random......i said random because its improbable, not impossible.
dreams turn the logic switch off. so your prediction is running loose. and lunacy and chaos is added to it. so your dreams are basically exagerrated versions of simple predictions. so it's not impossible to happen, it's just unlikely......to certain degrees.
which means it is also unlikely for me to be trapped in a room, helplessly waiting to be murdered by a complete stranger by means im not too fond of recalling.
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