title.........now or later?

there is a huge difference between my blog and my essay, and one of the obvious would be the title. for my essays, i always get the title 1st, for this blog, its the last thing to do, or maybe halfway through typing.

i write the title 1st in my essays to remind me what it is about and not to get lost and confused caused by unknown factors. but for the blog, well, aren't people supposed to do anything they like here, including getting their thought messed up?

if i were to type the title down now, it would be the rm5 apple/how kind the debate team is/my new ouran soundtrack/my computer is a piece of junk. so maybe when i get everything down, i choose which one goes up there. to kick off, the apple that costs 5 bucks each, which i saw in giant. the label got this sentence that made me burst into laughters in front of, well, everybody...."grape-flavored apple". why would anyone buy apples that taste like grape? if you want to taste grapes, go buy them, if you want to bite apples, buy them as well, if you want both, again, buy them. has grapes extinct in this world and become so ridiculously expensive to the extent they have to put some grape-like artificial flavor in apples? ok, that show how much bio-tech can do, but for the sake of sanity, why? its like cloning more people like bodohi.....sure it can be done, why i dont see any good in that. i dont care if its a cliche, its pointless.

the second title, the debate team.........i shall keep that to myself, though thats not what i usually do. about ouran,..............its not quran, its ouran with an "O", enough confusion people. oh yeah, i got the soundtrack from wenyi, and listening to it now, and somehow, the music just turns into noise most of the time......cant see to figure out why. since my bro came back from shah alam, my pc just deteriorated into a mere typing machine. before this, i only had trouble when im trying to view friendster and youtube, after upgrading my internet explorer, everything just went back to 1970s, this is not snail mail, this is smoke signal i tell you......and getting firefox didnt help out either, my computer is worm-free, no virus, no porn in my drive....yes, im not lying and i dont have my fingers crossed.......its supposed to be normal, but no, god forbid, its not!!! i had to wait for half an hour to view my inbox, another 20 minutes to sign in to my own blog. though friendster and youtube is accessible, it feels longer than singing negaraku. on an unrelated note, i cant sign in to msn this whole day too......been trying for countless of times, and its not working!

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to the main thing.....choosing the title. maybe it doesnt matter to you, it didnt to me, until the light guided me out of the cave (c'mon, i'll cut the crap, that shit is killin me)....it didnt matter to me until i compared it with a goal or course in one's life.

do you decide whats your life going to be, or do you just sit back and watch how things go about themselves, then you decide what was/is your life about.

for some, they have fix goals in life. i must get straight As, must marry a rich guy, must get out of this country, must do this, must do that, bla bla bla. they set a goal for themselves with the hope of achieving it....so everything is set....they got a map, they got the checkpoints, all they need to do is pass through each checkpoint until they cross the finishing line.....fun? it might be more secured but i'll leave "fun" to your judgement. or do you like to wander aimlessly and decide how much you've journeyed by looking back?

one is about planning ahead......one is about preparing for anything, expect the unexpected ( its called being indifferent). having an aim is a good thing, because you'll know where to go, but that means having hope...hope is great, yeah, its the only thing that makes human live today. without hopes, crash test dummies would invade humanity and start strapping us in a proton saga in a head-on collision without airbags just to let us know what it felt like to them. but, always a catch eh.........hope means expectation, demands which always have room for failure. so i decided to marry hye gyo in the future, and when i finally realise that its nothing but daydreaming, whats left for me? all my efforts and time has been spent towards that goal, but failure never leave mankind alone. so what? my life has practically gone to waste? maybe that example wasnt good enough, but thats the only thing i managed to come up with now. failure isnt pleasing, the higher your demands are, the bitter the failure tastes......that is of course not so bad if you can swallow what fate can throw at you, but the number of people committing suicide is increasing eh? what does that tell you? to dream something very possible isnt dreaming, its not hope, thats just not fun. wheres the fun in setting a goal to survive form 5? people should dream big, thats how planes were invented, thats how ford finally made a good car, the GT40, thats how we got the thing we have today.....without big dreams, there wont be any significance at all in your life or other's. big dreams made big things real, but that also may lead to even bigger disappointment and despondency. so its down to each individual, whether they can face failures and progress along the way.

of course, theres always an alternative to this....that is getting the title later. its more of trying new things, and see which do you prefer more, in any way, then decide whether you are going to make it part of your life. you cant possibly like what you dont know, can you? you cant say cycling is boring until you try it out, then perhaps you'll agree with me, that the closer you are to skin your knees, the more interesting it gets. so maybe one can decide whats best for himself after gaining sufficient experience. and upon that agreement, you would also accept anything the gods/god/coincidence/bad luck can throw at you, get over it, and move on. you cant deny the fact that shit happens and life is about getting over it.....calling indahwater isnt an option here....theres no lifeline is life, what an irony. but say that person just so happen only reacts to challenges, which might be lacking in his life, causing him to be nothing more than dust...its kind of pathetic too.

and the fact that i do both and still end up where i am now tells you that doing both isnt the solution either. then what is? maybe figuring that out can be a challenge itself...see, i didnt plan for that....haha

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