when will i walk on water?

yes, i know AS is coming. yes, i know i screwed my pre-AS up. and yes, i know i should be doing math right now.

but im bored. i know i just got back from kl, and i had a good time. but i guess i need a little more time to empty my head, siphoning random thoughts and ramblings onto this space.

back to being emo? perhaps. how else can one explain why i suddenly am not looking forward to anything. not the stupid speaking test tomorrow, not AS, not the 2 weeks break, not the third semester. nothing. i don't want time to move now. just stop. yes, im scared. of everything. of failing and seeing myself as nothing but as a failure. of rejection. of endless possibilities of things going wrong.

i just want to sleep. but 2 tablets wont do. shit.