day twelve

day eleven

hey

im not the most talkative in the family, as you'd notice. we rarely talk, other than customary greetings and really short chats. now that we are in different worlds, i come to think about you once in a while, though a lot less lately. i just want to tell you that we are doing fine. nothing to worry about us. now that you see things from a different angle, maybe you would know that im going to do the right thing. maybe not all nice and sweet and heroic, still the right thing. it's not such a great deal of a battle, but it's a battle nonetheless, one which we all have to go through everyday and if we did good, we can go to bed with no guilt, no fear, no regrets. i can. and i hope you are proud of that.

your grandson,

benjamin

day ten

hey,

can you go online? if not, can i call? i really want to talk to you.

yours truly,

benjamin

crashing into an epiphany

the faster you go, the harder you crash. but if you're lucky enough, even for the shortest moment, you'll feel like you're flying.

thing is, being in love feels kinda the same. and i am.

thank you =)

day nine

dear God,

we need to talk.

your undefined believer,

benjamin

day eight

hey

i haven't seen you online lately. guess you're busy huh. i hope you get all my emails. i don't really know because you rarely reply.

funny how we know each other. i still don't remember how i have you on my friendster. that was almost 4 years ago. it's been a long way since then. i guess what really bridged the gap was my friendster blog which seemed rather controversial as this one as well. its good to know that there is someone out there who actually read my what i wrote.

im sorry that sometimes, i sound rather rude online. can't help it. words can only convey so much, and a simple "hey" can be said in so many ways. a simple "ok" would be misleading at certain times.

anyway, i just hope that we can find commitment in ourselves to keep emailing and stuff. perhaps video call when there's an opportunity?

yours sincerely,

benjamin

day seven

hey,

it's been a while huh. perhaps long enough for you to stop avoiding me? i wouldn't exactly say i have a crush on you. i was young and stupid. maybe the latter is still kinda glued onto me. my mistake was telling a friend about you, and it spread like wildfire. should have keep my mouth shut tight eh?

anyway, just want to say sorry for wasting your time trying to avoid me. i hope you can laugh at this stuff in the years to come.

yours truly,

benjamin