its not supposed to make sense anyway

out of nowhere, i finally felt the gap, the distance. it has always been there, both literally and metaphorically, but i have always ignored it.....for 2 years....distance wasnt a problem. but today would be a watershed.

im not fond of socializing with people, and i would prefer some degree of solitude for most of the time. but today, i feel so alone. literally. no friends, no class, no jogging because my foot still hurts, no games, no nothing. shit. what the hell is going on. i need to feel alive. and no one is around to help with me that.

there's only futsal, volleyball, badminton and ping pong here. im not much of a sports person, and these games actually requires someone fit enough to play. im not. i dont hang around with everyone in college. i dont go to the library and study because its a bit cold for me, and the librarian hasnt got the best smile in the world. i usually go out on weekend, looking for my uncle, staying over at his place, walk around kl for food, and shopping for random stuff..like apples and skittles.

1. i dont feel like going to the library and study.
2. i dont feel like making friends at all right now.
3. i dont want to play any kind of sport.
4. i dont wana pick up a book and read it
5. i dont feel like starting a conversation with my classmates
6. i dont want to be known
7. i dont want to try to close the gap just to impress someone
   
8. i dont care what people think of me
9. i dont like going out to town cos theres nothing there
10. i dont like being here

and now, im going to try to do all that.
let's see if i can change myself and what i think about college life in ktt.
ps : sorry if i was of any trouble